a week in snippets

notes on idle moments

These are the notes I wrote in a small notebook I keep in my tote bag, written wherever I happened to be and following whatever thoughts poured into my head at that moment. I did this seven days in a row, capturing the essence of a very normal week. These are transcribed from my original notes, with no edits.

Saturday

My neighbours have been getting a tree cut down today - a very big, old, and definitely dead tree. Weirdly, I’m sad to see it go. It’s been part of my view the entire time I’ve lived here.

So today’s reading soundtrack has been gas-powered saws, and the crew yelling at one another to be heard through their ear protection and the saws. It’s quitting time now, though, so they’ve tidied the woodpile, to be cleared out tomorrow, they tell me, as though I'm concerned about the woodchips that are on my driveway. I clearly have never raked the yard, wood chips for a night are of no concern.

The sun is high and warm today, luring me out to the porch, despite the noise, to bask. I’m wearing my ballcap and sunglasses and sunscreen (this time). And a vodka lemonade finishes my perch, the can getting warm as I flip pages. This past week was a lot, the conference I’m planning is eating my brain and wearing out any patience I have. Five weeks till it’s here and I’m staring down emails and messages and decisions and crises. Hence the vodka lemonade in the early afternoon, a treat in this oasis I’ve made for myself.

Sunday

It’s the same temperature out today, but much less sunny, and it feels like a personal affront to have weather that doesn’t exactly for my desires for the day (I want to read outside). But stubbornly, I’ve put on a sweater with my cap and sunglasses, waiting for the sun to come out again.

I felt so rundown on Friday, and today I’m better, after rest, though I stayed up to watch the Leafs game. I’m a closet Leafs fan - not even my own parents knew I watch sometimes, as they told me on the phone earlier. But I do enjoy some sports, I just don’t watch them often because a) it’s generally difficult for me to watch them on TV, thanks vision problems; and b) I’m way too intense of a person to keep in touch with full seasons. However, game 6 last night was important and CBC had it on their app. And yes, I did yell in my apartment when Tavares scored the goal.

Today, I pay the price of a late bedtime. That’s okay, being lazy was on the agenda for the day, even before I made the decision to watch the game.

Monday

There is something truly delightful about going out for a drink, accompanied by a nice fat book. I used to do this regularly pre-COVID, but today is the first time in more than three years, and I was startled at how emotional it made me. Just when you think you’re okay with all that has happened.

But I’m also really happy. I’m enjoying my beer, reading my book, eavesdropping on strangers - another thing I’ve missed doing as much over the last three years!

The reason I’m here for a drink is because I’m getting new all-season tires on, and the tire place is next to the brewery. Sit in a scrubby waiting area or in a comfy brewery a 30 second stroll away? Hardly a choice. Plus a beer will wash down the general malaise I feel about having to buy new tires. Yes, I’ve known for six months that I’ve have to get new all-seasons, but buying tires is terribly dull. And after this, I’m going to have to drag my winter tires in from the car and put them in storage.

(For my non-Canadian/winter dwelling readers: you need winter tires here. And to hedge my bets, like most other people, I use all-seasons the other six months of the year. Good tires to drive on ice and snow are important.)

Tuesday

Are there people who aren’t listening to Gordon Lightfoot today? Do I even want to know people who haven’t been? He died last night, and the tributes are splashed all over media and social media, me included. His music was some of the first where I was really taken by the songwriting. Those lyrics! The Canadiana! The love of transportation!

Also there was a Gordon Lightfoot week on Canadian Idol when it was on, which is such a niche Canadian thing to remember. But I do.

Between listening to loops of my favourite Gordon Lightfoot songs and spending my days in meetings for resource procurement, the day passed in a blur. I find a busy Tuesday does tend to shrink. It happened, but what did I do? Was it anything? Does it matter? The last usually results from a stretch of discouraging or tired days, Today wasn’t one of those, though I have the vague feeling I didn’t do everything I wanted to do today, but there’s nothing obvious I can point to as the missing piece.

Wednesday

I don’t think you can become a morning person. I think you’re born one, and if you’re not, you get to spend your life jamming yourself into that mould, forever unsuccessful.

I ponder this at least once a week, usually when I’m late for work (if you can be late when you have some flexibility in when you start). I’m not a morning person. I’ve never been one. I grew up in a house with parents who are relentless morning people. Both of my parents are retired now and the latest they start their days is 7.

I’ve never felt the need to be up at 7, unless forced.

And really, this is why I think this is innate: it’s not like anyone ever slept in at my house growing up, until I did and found peace. And by sleeping in, I mean 8 or 9AM. It’s not like I haven’t spent most of my life with a schedule that has demanded I get out of bed by 6:30AM in order to get ready for school or work, because I most definitely have. I pointed this out to my mother when she asked me if I was slowly becoming a morning person. No, my life is a delicate game of managing my sleep so I can be as minimally cranky and mostly on time, but knowing even one moment of laxness has me revert to my natural body clock.

The best schedule I ever had was the summer I pulled the 3:30PM-12:30AM shift at the grocery store. It suited me perfectly.

When my mortal enemy suggested that the library hours would be better moved to evenings if we did ask our users. I said I’d immediately jump on an evening schedule. This undercut her point, but also she was a morning person too, and I don’t think had ever realized people may not like 8-4. I don’t. I would be happier 10-6 or 11-7. This wouldn’t work because of how we’ve set up life, but I’m pretty sure a morning person did that, and I’m not one of them.

Thursday

Do you know that I’ve never really bought furniture? I’ve bought a car, I’ve bought plane tickets to the other side of the world, I’ve paid a lot of tuition, I’ve even bought my own KitchenAid stand mixer. I’ve never bought real furniture. I did buy a new mattress once, from one of those mattress-in-a-box companies online (it’s great, by the way), but the bedframe belonged to my parents. It’s older than I am, and has a matching nightstand.

My kitchen table is a hand-me-down, and so is my couch, which is technically a futon. I bought my dresser off a friend in university, my parents gave me my coffeetable the Christmas I moved to Miramichi.

I have bought Ikea bookshelves and a Pello chair with ottoman. I bought a little desk, and I bought a drafting table to do my art at.

But really, the first time I purchased furniture, that I picked out something new, was when I set out to order new seating for the library reading corner. I ended up ordering two chairs, a couch, a loveseat, and two coffeetables.

The arrived yesterday and were moved in this morning. And thank all the deities, they’re great. I had no idea. None at all.

Friday

I never wanted to be one of those people in a Monday - Friday job who only lived for Friday, but I’ve found myself long for Friday most weeks since the pandemic started. Today, though, I’m welcoming Friday because I strained a back muscle yesterday and it makes moving around a bit of a challenge. Sitting in this chair is fine! It’s just the fact that I’m going to have to eventually get up. You see the problem.

I saw a tweet on the somehow-still-standing Twitter, asking what your most normal-coded trait is, and I think, aside from my newfound consistent desire for Friday to roll around, is the fact that I will always talk about the weather when I’m in the elevator at work. Need to fill your quota of chatting about weather? I’m here for you. I love to comment on the weather.

Actually I don’t, but once I step into the workplace, it’s my personality. There’s a lot of small talk in a hospital, you need to be ready.

In fact, I’m about to go for my morning walk - a loop around the trail outside - to bolster my weather talk. Gotta check on the temperature and introduce discussion of how the grounds are looking for bonus points.