Friends, I come to you with news today. It’s good news! And I’m glad I can finally share it - but it’s also sad, in ways I didn’t entirely expect.
In the next couple of weeks, I’m hanging up my hospital librarian hat, packing up my apartment, and moving to Halifax, where I’m taking on a new role as an academic librarian. I’ve been sitting on this for a while, and now that things are official, I’ve told all the people I needed to tell directly, and now I’m ready to talk about what it means to me as I begin to go through it.
Leaving Miramichi was always a forgone conclusion to me. It was a stepping stone, never a place I planned to stay. There are a few obvious reasons for that: my partner of nearly fifteen years never moved here with me, I have zero ties to the area aside from my job, and I originally moved here for a 13 month contract.
It’s been eight years.
I struggle to figure out how exactly that much time has gone by - I mean, the last few years barely count, but I’m at a loss for the rest. The calendar kept flipping and I kept on. Of course, as an early career librarian, I clutched this job as my prize: the full-time permanent job doing exactly the thing I wanted to do out of library school. It has a pension, flexibility, incredible amounts of autonomy. I decide what happens when, I get to run my own library. But I changed somewhere along the way. I grew up, I got shattered by the pandemic, I realized I needed to move on. Lots of things happened to spur that decision. Some intensely painful, others much less so. I looked in the mirror and realized I wasn’t twenty-four anymore, and that I was always going to be twenty-four to some people here, which is the price you pay for being a young professional in a rural area with a high number of older workers.
This was a gradual decision. I set myself to looking for a new job quite some time ago, after really giving myself some time and space to decide what I wanted, and especially what I was looking for from my next job. I wanted to be in Halifax. I wanted to not be solo - for all the wonderful things I’ve learned and gotten to do in the past eight years, it’s unlikely I’ll take another position where I’m a solo librarian again. It’s a very lonely job, and I didn’t want to be that alone anymore. I wanted a new challenge, because I could feel myself getting more comfortable than I felt I should be. After some unfortunate experiences, I decided my preference for my next job would be a unionized role. I made my list, and then I looked. I wasn’t in a rush, which is good, because it was a slow process. I could afford to be pickier than when I came out of school, but the reality is that there aren’t that many librarian jobs to begin with, and I put some pretty narrowing inclusion/exclusion criteria on my hunt.
But after what felt like an excellent interview, I waited a few weeks and found out they agreed. And so I’m mid-leap now.
I’m definitely a little scared. It’s been a long time since I had to learn a new job and new institution. I’m not doing exactly the same kind of work I’ve been doing in the hospital. I have to move! After eight years in one spot! At least this time I can drive myself and my parents are retired (so they can help without too much scheduling on their end. Thanks Mom and Dad). I’m leaving behind friends and things I really, truly have loved. These past few days, I’ve been contending with having to tell people, and getting the full range of reactions, from crushed to joyous for me. I get it I’m feeling these things too.
I will miss my beautiful, wonderfully cheap apartment. I’ll miss the way the road bends on the drive home from work and how you can see the whole river at the top of a little hill. I’ll miss stealing candy from employee wellness, who are the best office neighbours. I’ll miss all of the beautiful places I go for my regular walks and swims. I’ll miss the pie shoppe! I will miss my lunchmates at work, who have been wonderful company all these years. I’ll miss the Irish pub around the corner, and waving to my neighbours at the care home next door every day.
I’ll miss the many, many library users I’ve gotten to know. I’ll miss the excellent Christmas presents they send every year, and their quirks for requesting things, all of which I remember without any effort. I’ll build this kind of community again, but I’m still sad for the one I’m leaving behind. I have many many thoughts about being a hospital librarian, not all of them positive, but above all, I can’t imagine a better crash course for me to have learned to be a librarian in my own right. My generous users and coworkers supported me, let me stumble, and let me learn. I will always be grateful for these years.
You will be missed for sure. You did an amazing job and will be an asset to your now job. Keep in touch! ❤️❤️
When I first received your email, it was a bad day to begin with and hearing that you were leaving the hospital was just another bad moment. But I knew you would be leaving Miramichi at some point. I'm happy you are still with TMR and of course, I'm happy for Brett and Mallow!